i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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