Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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