You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Randomize
