i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
