these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Randomize
