is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Randomize
