yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
