It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I stole a fireplace last night.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
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