NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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