k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
Randomize
