I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Randomize
