Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Randomize
