I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Randomize
