i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
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