Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
nutella sex= disaster
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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