turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Randomize
