i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
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