she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
