just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize
