I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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