all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize