In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Randomize
