I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
