I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
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