we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
she smelled like a LAN party
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
