Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
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