If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Say something about gay babies.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize
