who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
