hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Semen is not good for contacts.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Randomize
