the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Randomize
