I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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