call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
