Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
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