I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
