But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
