belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Randomize
