haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
