dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
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