You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
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