So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Randomize
