my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
