"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
