it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
