I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Randomize