i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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