You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
