Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
