I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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