Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
I checked into jail on foursquare
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
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