you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Randomize