____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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