Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
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