Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
