apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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