My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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