I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Randomize
