Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize