if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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