I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
