She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
